


You Are My Strength When I Am Weak

by KatieWho



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Light Angst and Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-06 14:50:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17941793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieWho/pseuds/KatieWho
Summary: “Meredith?” He blinks to make sure he's not just seeing things, tilts his head to the side when he realises he's not.The woman doesn't say a word, just stares at him wide-eyed, mouth agape. It's a second more before she shakes herself out of her stupor and starts to speak.“I just wanted to check if you're okay.”He notices the tears glistening in her eyes and his confusion is replaced by worry.





	You Are My Strength When I Am Weak

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another one-shot, yay! It's a tiny one, but I hope you'll like it anyway! :)
> 
> I'm deeply grateful for [cartoonheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cartoonheart/works) for beta-reading again (english tenses can be sooo hard) and reassuring me when I absolutely wasn't sure about this one! And for "researching" these things with me (you know what I mean by that :p). Without our talks, I wouldn't know what to write most of the time.♥ If it wasn't for you, I'd probably never have shared this.😅  
> Go and check out her Merluca stories, they are the BEST. *-*

There's a knock at his door, a loud bang really, that startles him out of his slumber. He blinks a few times and turns on his side to blearily look at the alarm clock sitting on his nightstand.  
2.47am  
_Huh?_ His mind's not quite awake yet but the banging is insistent so he gets up, shudders as his feet touch the cold hardwood floor. He throws a shirt on, covering his bare chest but doesn't think about the fact that he's only wearing his boxers, regrets it when he starts to shiver.  
Another knock makes him roll his eyes in annoyance.  
Who the hell would come to his apartment at this ungodly hour? And why?  
He groans as the cold air hits his exposed body parts and runs a tired hand over his face, exhaling deeply, while the other unlocks his front door and turns the handle to open it.  
“Meredith?” He blinks to make sure he's not just seeing things, tilts his head to the side when he realises he's not.  
The woman doesn't say a word, just stares at him wide-eyed, mouth agape. It's a second more before she shakes herself out of her stupor and starts to speak.  
“I just wanted to check if you're okay.” The words are mumbled and he strains to catch them.  
“Check on me? At almost 3 in the morning?” he inquires, can't quite believe that's it, can’t believe this was the only reason she would come to see him.  
“Yeah.” It's curt and plain and she waves her hand upwards, as if the gesture could explain something to him, but instead it just makes the confusion inside of him grow. Why was she here?  
His mind is still blurry from sleep and he has a hard time making sense of this. Surely she didn't drive all the way here to just check on him? He doesn't understand it.  
“And it looks like you are, so I'll let you get back to sleep.” She says it in a rush, so hastily that he's not sure if he’s understood her correctly. But when she turns to leave, he notices the tears glistening in her eyes and the confusion is replaced by worry.  
He grabs her arm, turns her around to face him again to keep her from leaving.  
“Meredith, are you okay?” He’s concerned and they're still standing in the doorway, neither of them shifting even a little and the hallway light goes out with the lack of movement. The tears are still glistening in her blue depths but she seems unwilling to let them fall.  
“I am, yes. I'll let you sleep now.” She tries to free her arm from his grasp but he won't let her, instead pulls her gently inside so the neighbours won't get the wrong idea if they see them. She protests very little.  
Besides, she seems in no state to drive right now. He wonders how she even got here in one piece but shakes that thought away as soon as it comes. No need to make his head explode with all the ways her driving here could’ve gone wrong.  
“Has something happened? Are the kids alright?” He brushes a strand of hair behind her ear when she refuses to look at him. Tries to coax her into it by gently pulling her chin up with his finger. She lets him.

Her eyes finally meet his and she looks broken, hurt and Andrew can't think of a reason. And she won't give him one. He sees more tears welling up in her eyes and her lip trembles as she cautiously reaches out a hand to touch his cheek, brushing over it gently, as if he might burst into a million pieces at the barest of contact.  
“You're okay.” It's just a whisper but it seems to make the dam she has been holding inside of her burst and a few tears start slipping down her rosy cheeks. She makes no move to wipe them away, or any noise for that matter. She just keeps staring at him, fingers tracing his skin while the tears silently run down her cheeks.  
Andrew's taken aback but doesn’t need a second before he goes to embrace her. It takes a moment before she reacts but when she does, she latches onto him as if he’s her last chance to keep from drowning.  
It's scaring him, he admits.  
One of his hands strokes over her back, running circles over the light fabric of her shirt. It's then he notices that she's only wearing her pyjamas and nothing else. The knot in his stomach tightens and he wonders if something actually happened to her kids to make her rush here and then come undone like this. But why would she ask _him_ if _he_ was okay?  
“Shh Mer...it's okay. I'm here...shh.” His other hand brushes over the back of her head and he presses light kisses to the top of her head every once in a while, trying to help her calm down again.  
He feels some tears dampen his shirt and his heart breaks a little for her. Andrew wishes she'd just speak to him so he could help her.  
Meredith suddenly pulls away from his embrace, staring into his eyes again and he's too stunned by her sudden move to do anything as she puts both of her hands on his face and starts kissing him feverishly.  
Andrew's yet again taken aback but responds to it, trying to calm the kiss into something more soft and tender, but Meredith won't let him, keeps him close to her and runs her hands frantically over his body.  
It's only when she tries to pull his shirt upwards that he stops her and takes her hands into his, trapping them against his chest.  
“No Meredith, stop. Talk to me.” Andrew urges her and she just looks at him, eyes still big and wet, before letting her head drop against his chest, just above where he’s still holding her hands captive, breathing laboured and shallow.  
Andrew lets go of her fingers and runs a hand over her back, tells her to breathe with him to prevent her from hyperventilating. When she calms again she lets out a tired sigh. “I'm sorry.”  
It’s loaded and heavy and Andrew still doesn’t understand anything of this.

He straightens and gently pushes Meredith into the direction of the sofa, is surprised when she doesn't try to resist. He sits down first, pulls her with him so that she can snuggle against his side which she willingly does without any prompting on his part. He pulls one of the blankets over them when he feels her shiver in his arms.  
Her arms have threaded themselves around his abdomen, holding on tight and it's a side of her he hasn't seen before. He's never seen her terrified like this and seeking comfort.  
“Do you want to tell me now what happened?” He softly inquires, just a whisper into her ear, and presses another kiss there. Runs his hands over her back to make her feel safe. He hopes she does.  
Meredith exhales and stays quiet for the longest moment that he thinks she won't say a word.  
But he's wrong.  
“It's silly and dumb in hindsight now.” She sighs and Andrew looks down at her head, her face hidden in the crook of his neck.  
“Considering it’s brought you to my home on a work-day in the middle of the night with tears in your eyes, I don’t think it’s silly and dumb.” He hopes it gives her the reassurance she needs to tell him. Not that he’ll ever complain if she comes to his place in the middle of the night. He’d just rather she wasn’t on the verge of crying.  
“I know…” she breathes and it tickles the skin on his neck so that he can't help but shiver. She presses a soft kiss there and he has to smile despite the situation they're in.  
It's quiet again for another moment until she breaks the silence, her tone a little annoyed. He thinks it's more at herself. “I had...a nightmare. Okay?”  
It's voiced like she expects him to laugh at her, but instead he's stunned into silence. A nightmare?  
“What was it about?” He can't quite believe what she has just said and wonders why a nightmare would make her drive all the way here.  
“You.” She doesn't elaborate on it and Andrew feels frustration rising somewhere inside of him. He just wants to know what happened and she doesn’t seem willing to give him that information. She’s hiding from him and he hates it when she does. He knows she’s been burned by people before, doesn’t trust others easily and he wishes he could take that pain from her.  
She takes a deep breath and squeezes her eyes shut, her lashes tickling his skin where they brush against it. When she speaks again, he holds his breath, afraid she might stop again if he makes any sudden moves.

“Years ago, I was still in my intern year, I had this terrible dream.” She hesitates for a moment, as if she’s mulling over the words, if she should really say them. “Derek and I were broken up at the time… And I dreamt that he had a car accident and died.” It’s a plain story, simple, but the pain and hurt she still feels over it are evident in her tone. “At the time I thought there couldn't be a single thing worse in the world than losing him like that and never having told him how much I loved him.”  
She stays still against his side while Andrew keeps brushing over her hair, arms and back, calming her. He wants her to understand that she can always talk to him about Derek. Because that man will always hold her heart, he knows. He’s the father of her kids and the man she promised to spend the rest of her life with. But Andrew also likes to believe that he resides in there somewhere now too.  
“Many years later, Derek died - in a car crash.” She swallows hard and Andrew can hear the raw emotions in her voice. “It's always the worst dreams that come true.”  
She's silent again for a moment and Andrew thinks he knows where this is going. “And then tonight…” she breaks off shakily and sits up again, putting some distance between them while keeping one hand on his chest. He doesn't know if she draws comfort in the contact. He hopes.  
“Tonight I had a...similar dream. About you. You died, Andrew. You died and there was nothing I could do and…” Her breathing’s growing more laboured again and Andrew puts both of his hands on her shoulders to ground her, make her realise that he's here and that he's _alive_. He understands now why she felt the need to check in person. He probably would've acted in much the same way. Life has marked her in terrible ways and it’s easier for Meredith Grey to believe that bad things happen to her than any good. And he really cannot fault her for believing that. Although he wishes he could change it.  
She looks at him again and puts both hands on the sides of his face, shaking her head. “Please don't die, Andrew.” It’s a pleading tone, one he’s never heard her use before and something breaks inside of him at having to hear it, at being the one who caused her to feel this way, even if he himself isn’t actually responsible for it. He pulls her back against his chest and hugs her tight, as if he could protect her from all the bad in the world that way.  
He knows he can’t promise her anything like that. If he does and something happens...she’d never forgive him for having broken that promise. And so he stays silent and just breathes with her until she calms down again.  
He feels her body mould against his form, the tension leaving her rigid muscles. Feels the way her hands desperately draw him closer as if she still cannot fully believe that it's him and that he's _well_. He doesn't know how he could prove to her that he is, that just for the rest of the night she can relax and maybe even sleep peacefully.  
She sighs and sniffs, wiping away her tears with the hem of her sleeve. “I'm sorry.”  
Andrew shakes his head immediately, taking her face in his hands so she looks up at him. “Don't be. Please always come to me if you're feeling like this, Meredith. I want to be there for you, in whatever way I can.” It’s genuine but he also knows it's a rather feeble attempt to reassure her. No promise in the world, no words in this world, can take this fear from her. Not after all the people she's lost in her life.  
Andrew kisses her softly, feels her tears against his lips and tries to convey just how much she means to him with this one kiss.  
When they part again she exhales shakily and lets her body rest against his side, head on his chest, one hand over his heart. Andrew hugs her to him, draws circles on her back.  
“For the longest time after Derek’s death...I thought I'd never feel again. I never really wanted to feel again, to be honest.” She huffs dryly and combs a strand of hair from her eyes. “Because if I didn't feel, then I couldn't get hurt again like that. And it worked well, for a while. I had my kids keeping me alive, giving me a reason to live. The only reason really, I am still alive.” She breaks off again.  
Andrew listens intently to what she’s telling him. It feels much like she’s opening a new chapter for both of them, the way she’s sharing her past and her feelings like this. And that she trusts him enough to say all these things to him without feeling the need to hide herself behind excuses or half-truths. And he gets that she will always miss Derek, he does. And he wants her to understand that he gets it and that it’s okay.  
“And while I was content for the most part, I wasn’t happy. But that was okay, I could live like that. I could’ve probably spent the rest of my life that way and been content enough.” She swallows and Andrew can feel her lift her head and he looks down to meet her eyes. “And then you came and kissed me at Alex’s wedding.” Her eyes look a little lighter now and he has to smirk. He remembers the drunken kiss and still can’t quite believe they ended up here, together. “And I felt a lot of things for the first time again.” She smiles for a moment before putting her head back against his chest and sighing anew.  
Andrew feels his heart flutter a little at her confession and kisses her on the top of her head, feeling her hug him a little tighter.  
“You gave that back to me. The happiness I was missing for so long. But with that, you also brought the fear of losing you. And I know you can’t make any promises, won’t make them if you’re not sure you can keep them. But I really need you to be fine. And that’s...frightening.” He feels her exhale against him and can’t help the little smile forming on his lips at hearing her say those words.  
After the scare she gave him tonight this makes him feel so much lighter.  
He kisses her on the temple.  
“No, you’re right. I won’t promise you anything I can’t keep. But I will promise to try my hardest to stay alive.”  
He hears her chuckle, feels the vibrations against his chest and smiles openly now.  
“Thank you.” She looks up at him again and leans closer to plant a kiss on his lips, soft and tender. His hand travels up to her cheek as he responds much the same way, pouring into it every bit of reassurance and love that he feels for her. He knows it’s still too early to say the words, even if she pretty much said them today, but he knows it’ll only overwhelm her tonight. So he keeps them in and just kisses her, hopes she feels it.

When they part, he caresses her cheek softly, planting another light kiss to her nose that makes her giggle.  
“Do you feel like you can get some sleep now?” He wonders out loud and eyes his watch. 3.31am.  
He still got another good hour before he needs to get up and knows she can sleep for another three then.  
She nods against him and slowly untangles her limbs from his. “Amelia’s with the kids.”  
It’s a simple statement, not meant to have a deeper meaning, but he knows she feels bad that she won’t see them in the morning.  
“Do you want me to take you home?” She’s standing in front of him now and contemplates his question before squeezing her eyes shut and biting her lip.  
“I’m sorry.”  
Andrew gets up as well and shakes his head, taking her hand in his. “It’s fine. Just let me get some things and I’ll get you home to your kids.” He reassures her with another quick kiss and makes his way into the bedroom, throwing a short longing look at his sheets before he packs some things and heads back to the living room.  
“Here, put this on.” He hands Meredith one of his hoodies so she won’t feel cold when they get outside again. It’s spring, but the nights are still chilly.  
“Thank you.” She puts a hand on his shoulder and stands up on her tip-toes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek.  
When she steps away again, he takes her hand, rucksack in his other and pulls her out of his apartment to where her car is waiting. She gives him her keys.  
“I’m really glad you kissed me at that wedding, Andrew.”  
He turns back to her and grins. “Me too.”


End file.
